Sovereign hands
Nailed to a humble cross
Scars You bear
Speak of Your redeeming love
No wonder I call You Saviour
No wonder I'm singing
God of all the heavens
Now and till forever
High above the universe
God of our redemption
God of my surrender
The glory is Yours
Sovereign God
Laying down a holy life
Heaven's Son
Willing to be crucified
Holy
Holy
Holy Lord
Open hands
Given to a sovereign cause
All I have
God will be forever Yours
Today Sunday service was very special. In fact, every Sunday service is very special to me because it is a day of celebration for The Lord! Thank God for the blessing, I was one of the support singers during service praise and worship session! I know I was not as good as the experienced support singers, but I tried my best to keep up and I knew I was not merely exercising lips and bluttered meaningless words, but the songs that I sang, I sang unto The Lord, I wanted to bring joy to My Lord.
I missed Word for Life class today due to praise and worship practise. It is in fact the last Word for Life class taught by Bro Ricky. He's going off to Penang with his family this Thurs. My heart was stirred by the sermon he preached today. Getting it right this Christmas! This is the first Christmas that I celebrate as a child of God.. I do not want to celebrate like the world celebrates it.. commercialised with expensive branded gifts, total focus on ownselves; I want to get it right this Christmas! I want to celebrate it with a thanks giving heart, a grateful heart for the forgiving of my sins by my Lord.. John 3:16 For the Lord so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. AMEN! Christmas is not just another holiday of the year, another day of celebration with friends and family, another reason to spend and exchange gifts, but a season to remember what The Lord has done on the cross, how He had set us free! I have just complained about being jobless yesterday but the sermon today had indeed stirred me. God is asking me to trust Him with all my heart even during down times.
Prayer: Lord, You know my heart, You see right through it. You know how much I long to know You more.. Lord, remove all the doubts I have and worries that hinder me from trusting You completely. Through thin and thick, it is You that I will hold on to. Let this season of Christmas be a time that wakes up Your children who have fallen asleep, remind us of what You have done on the cross that by Your grace, we are able to be who we are today to offer You all our praises. Lord, help me to grow in You..
A sense of emptiness fills me. I am leading an aimless life. Aimless in a sense of having nothing to look forward to, no plan in exact that I can head to. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!! I MUST GO AND FIND A JOB ASAP! It doesn't feel right to be jobless indeed.
How tired it is to work, but it is more tiring when there's nothing to do and the only thing u could possibly do is to stare at the ceiling, asking yourself, "Why am I so useless?", and indulge yourself in self pity.
Prayer: Lord, I do not want to stay on like this, I am not satisfied with the situation I am in right now when I know I am blessed with giftings from You and I am not able to use them to the fullest. I pray for your provision of a part time job, Father in Heaven, that I am able to continue to support myself financially. Lord, teach me to be more obedient to You and abide in You. Take away all my troubles and worries. In Jesus' name I commit my prayer. AMEN.
Ahhh!!! I cant help but worry worry worry and worry!!! I do not how would it be like tomorrow.. I am going to start working tomorrow. The previous time I worked during PIKOM fair was with another friend but now he's gone to KK. Aiyo.. worry worry... Will I do well? Can I mix with the rest? AhhhhHHH..........................................................
Lord, place Your peace in my heart. I surrender my burden and worries at the foot of Your cross, Lord.. take away all that troubles my heart.. I commit my job and everything else to You, Lord, I will trust in You faithfully. Amen.
Your calling, my purpose
Today must be a very fine day, I finally have the inspiration to blog about Malaysia National Convention that I attended!
This is the first time u attend church convention, what do u think of it? Learned A LOT!
What have u learned? ........ non stop sharing (by me)........
All the typical questions I answered for these few days. LOL. I was inspired by Ps Jeff's teachings, he's one of the youth pastors in Hope Singapore. He's such a fluent and interesting speaker who can easily capture audiences' attention and deliver his message to the listeners precisely and clearly. I tried my best to pay full attention to the preachers and absorb as much as I can so that I can learn to the fullest what was taught. Every sermon that is copied is essential because u will definitely need them some time in the future, be it as reference when u're free or material to prepare for teaching! I pray that God will prepare me from now to be a teacher who is capable to share the gospel and teach His word to all the non-believers out there.
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BE A HOT COAL!
Place a hot coal besides a cold one and heat will tranfer from the hot to the cold coal, causing the cold coal to be heated up. This is the theory shared by Crosby. The coals are the believers, hot coals are the believers who have the burning passion for Christ in their hearts whilst cold coals represent believers who have slowly come to the stage where nothing seems to excite them as everything seems to have become a routine. Cold coals are also those who have the signs of backsliding due to the shift of focus from the ETERNITY(treasure in heaven) to the TEMPORARY(material on earth). Every believer will come to a time when we have lost the passion or we have lost focus and persue worldly rewards blindly, hot coals play important roles in heating up the cold ones! So let us all be hot coals that bring heat to the cold coal, LETS HEAT THEM UP!!!
**Cold-coal friends, I have been praying for u..
I am addicted!!!
Just now I was so free that I went to youtube to see if there's any drama I can watch to kill time and suddenly I thought of Smallville which I was once crazy over.. At the search column I typed S.M.A.L.L.V.I.L.L.E. Then I learnt that Season 6 is out already!!! Gosh! Season 6! I haven even watched season 4 and 5! (out to date enough? lol) Then I watched the latest episode of season 6, episode 8-Static. Terrific! Superb! Awesome! Whaooo... it truly gives me the feeling of WHAO! The episode was full of suspense and I couldn't take my eyes off the monitor until it finished!
I was totally confused with the relationship between Clark, Chloe, Lana and Lex eh! I was really outdated, question marks started to pop out when I saw Lana with Lex! She should be with Clark Kent, the superman, right??? Confused. I should watch the seasons before man.
I was totally confused with the relationship between Clark, Chloe, Lana and Lex eh! I was really outdated, question marks started to pop out when I saw Lana with Lex! She should be with Clark Kent, the superman, right??? Confused. I should watch the seasons before man.
I feel kinda aimless today. Was watching movies continually since I woke up and took bath. Had my breakfast in front of the monitor as well. Haha. The life before the exam was over was hectic, the mind was pre-occupied by revision and exam at each waking moment. And now? I need to figure out what to do when I wake up, after I watched movie, what's nexT? reading? after that? lunch? after that? and what's next??? and it goes on and on till now.. when the sun sets and moon glows.
The days before were well-spent! Youths from Hope Singapore were here for mission trip and each moment spent together with them was unforgettable! They are passionate, energetic, enthusiastic and spiritually bunch of people, love them to bits! The care group meeting we had on the second day they were in Kuching had made me lost my voice for the rest of the days. We yelled and cheered and sang at the top of our voices and some of us ended up "erkhem... erkhem..." when we talked.. LOL.
There's a lot that I have to learn from them. Despite the fact that I am elder than them in age, they are more mature spiritually than I do. For a baby Christian who is less than a-yr-old, I was truly blessed to have received so much from them. Thanks Jasmine, for the prayer.. what I learned from them will definitely not go to waste, I will pray for opportunities to apply them one by one.
There was one thing that came across my mind when I saw them playing guitars together with Johnson. I thought, hey, most of them know how to play guitar! and how about our care group? We only have Johnson!.. and Sheryl who is not in Kuching.. and the rest of the guitarists are from the secondary group. I was inspired! This is indeed the perfect time to learn guitar as I've finished my exam and I am more than free and willing to learn things that will help the growth of our care group! Asked Aaron about the price of a guitar yesterday and he said a standard one will cost approximately RM 200. OKay... I shall start to save to get one!
Still praying for a part time job. Life as an unemployed isn't that carefree after all because u will definitely worry when u need to spend.. and it is exactly the situation I am in right now. Hey, I had this thought few days ago, if I were to get a job right after my exam or I was asked to continue the job as a tuition tutor, I would not be able to spend time with youths from Hope Singapore! I realise God's reason behind the lost of the job which I thought was unreasonable. How perfect is His timing! My heart is filled with amazement when I think of this! I will continue to trust in God in providing me with a part time job and the plan of my future. Lord, have Your way. AMEN.
It's 1.32 am. I am awake. My heart is filled with the joy of the The Lord. Who shall I praise if not The Lord who knows my every thought. Who shall I give thanks if not my Lord who provides my every need. Today is a day of blessings, a day of celebration for what The Lord has done in my life. This is the night which I have been looking forward to, Lord.. the time spent with You, knowing that You are near, Lord.. My heart is filled with unspeakable joy. My heart would not feel the peace if it was not You, Lord.. I would not shed tears if it was not You who had touched my heart tonight, Lord.. Let this be a testimony to encourage those who have been seeking God earnestly. God is a prayer away. God is in our hearts when we call upon Him. God is love. God loves me, God loves you, God loves His children.
Why is it like I've taken coffee? I can't sleep!!!
What's wrong? Is it that I'm too excited over the end of my exam? Probably.. or could it be the shopping and series of programmes that I've planned for the first day of my holiday thrills me? I guess it might just be the itch of my throat that makes me can't sleep.
Ok.. people who have been concerning much about me, u must have known that today is the last day of my exam.. u might wonder what had I done right after that that day. I went for lunch with friends and then went home and watched Step Up. It was an awesome movie. Despite the fact that my eyes were really tired due to the whole-day reading for several days, I was not willing to go to have an eye-shut, simply because I did not want to waste my time sleeping! haha... I chatted with friends, played scrabble, with my music turned on loudly.. wow.. that was enjoyable.. the enjoyment I had not had ever since I started the preparation for the exam!
After consuming the last few bar of battery left of me, I went for a nap for... less than an hour... I had to go out with friends for dinner so I couldn't sleep too long.
Then the story begins.. I dressed up and went for dinner with friends. Few days before, my friend informed me about the gathering but I was not really interested of joining, simply because I knew if I were to go, I'd have to spend quite an amount of money again, but that friend sms me few hours before and asked if I really couldn't go coz one of our gang is going back to KL. (KL so far ah!? can come back anytime what.. *whack on the head by friend* LOL) Due to the gulitiness for not turning up the gathering planned, I agreed to join.. As informed, we're going to get some of our friends presents. okay... the story continues...
There's something that I really want to say but I don't think anyone of them would understand.. probably only the one who worked before. As the clinche said by parents all the time, "U think it's easy to earn money ah? Don't simply waste money ah!" (Direct translation) The characteristic of being extragavance is only reserved for those who do not know how to earn money, I shall say. Because they do not even know how hard is it to earn money that they spend! One night out-dinner plus shopping for presents almost cost a week of my salary! Do they ever realise that when they spend? I guess not. Oh well, probably they are just rich spoilt kids who never have second thought on things that they spend on, just like how I was before I had to "feed" myself. U guys will learn it when u finally go through the experience of earning and spending own money.. On second thought... or was it me who did not know how to manage my own money well? Mind me not for being stingy lately, I've spent much on my mobile phone and the Malaysia National Convention!
I'll try to talk things out with friends one day, see if it's really my prespective that is wrong or otherwise. If the latter is true, then does that mean that I am no longer suitable to be grouped as one of them.. who to judge? I couldn't care less, honestly. See, I am different! I am no longer the girl I used to be.. no longer the one who blindly seek for sense of belonging and compromise to fit in the group. I am not trying to criticise, just trying to get my point clear.
My college life is officially over. I'm going to enter a new stage of my life. I do not know where to go what to do (Just have a rough idea). I'll pray for God to open ways. Let God reveals me what's His divine plan for me. Let's wait and see God works miraculously.
TODAY is 10 November 2006! I wonder whose birthday falls on today.. hmm.. The annual Kuching scouts District Camp starts today!
I just told Kia Ing when I was at church that sometimes I dislike myself being SOOOooo talkative. U know whaT? When Kia Ing and I just reached the cafe, both of us talked non-stop and I guess the atmosphere wasn't that noisy before we were there. We were really noisy.. at least for Shawn who was trying to study, we were..
Even though we, ppl who tend to talk non-stop, define ourselves being talkative as making full use of talent that God gives-the gift of gap, deep within our hearts, sometimes, we know we are merely creating noise by bubbling things that are as small as sesame and as insignificant as passing wind.
Sometimes, I dislike myself being:
- Too talkative (One of the characteristics of my SUPER HERO is to have the patient to listen to me and is able to stand my loso-ness and fan-ness)
- Too emotional
- Too LAME! (FYI, Brenda is someone who is never tired of telling LAME jokes. What's worse, she always demand ppl to respond with laughter)
- Too loud (Brenda, the amplifier, always work at high volumn)
I can't remember since when, I start to find being talkative is my weakness. I never had this thought despite the fact that all my teachers from kindergarden to secondary school complained to my mum about this. I think I should really learn to control myself, talking too much will annoy people around me. To be honest, it is really hard to suppress the desire of wanting to talk.. especially for such a talkative person like me. I always ask people around, how can one be so quiet and never have anything to talk about when one is surrounded by friends? I am always excited when I meet my friends, especially friends who also talk a lot, and we will have never-ending topics to talk about! Probably you might suggest me not to stay absolute silent but just talk less. *SIGH* I'll try....
I'll continue to pray for God's wisdom as I am doing my revision. 3 more papers to go and I can claim my freedom! Hallelujah!
Hey!
Glad that I am able to blog tonight! My bro is out so.. WaHaHahaha.. the pc is mine to use!
Those who have been praying for me regarding my sherpherd, God has answered our prayers! It was during the "Zealous Night".. The night that had set my heart on fire.. Literally, we had fire on, the BBQ, and I believed everyone's heart was set on fire as well! I really thank God for sending Chye Lin to me as my sherpherd. Before that, I somehow had the feeling that she might be my sherpherd and Kia Ing once told me that she might just be the one that I'd been praying for coz she and I are quite close. Haha.. Chye Lin, HuggiessssSS =)
I wonder if it's the internet connection that is poor, why cant I download the song that keeps playing in my mind since the night Chang Ting and gang sang it? Heart of worship-Hillsong.
My next A2 paper is on 30th. Maths. I guess I have prepared well enough for that. In fact, what worries me is Physics, and probably, Chemistry. I will continue to pray for God's wisdom.
I am reading a book borrowed from my cousin entitled "Life on the Edge" by Dr. James Dobson. It is indeed an appropriate book for my stage right now as I am on the life edge, trying hard to figure out where should I go, which university should I enter, what course should I take. In my mind, there is an ideal university that I wish to enter, Nanyang Technology University, Singapore (NTU) and I hope to take up actuarial science. As I am not born with silver spoon in mouth, I have to do my best to have someone else to pay for my university fee-scholarship sponsors. As what I know of, Singapore universities offer students who are excellent in academic tuition grant with 80% tuition fee off. That sounds pretty attractive to me and the tuition grant is what I really hope to get. Nonetheless, I commit everything to The Lord and I know He has wonderful plan for my life. I used to have the desire to study overseas and to explore the world; now, the little heart of mine just long to please The Lord and to do His will.
... I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus...
Heart of worship - Hillsong
When the music fades
all is stripped away and I simply come
longing just to bring
something that's of worth that will bless Your heart
I bring You more than a song
for a song in itself is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
Chorus
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
when it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
King of endless worth
no one could express how much You deserve
though I'm weak and poor
all I have is Yours
every single breath
I bring You more than a songfor a song in itself is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
Chorus
It seems like constant blogging is not what I can do before my bro gets a new monitor. I used to be someone who eagerly want to blog things that excited me, stuff that bothered me, ppl that I cared much for and how I looked at the revolving world.. but not now buddies, not now..
Is it mere coincidence that the time I can update my blog, after my monitor is dead, is always a Sunday? At least it was so for the previous post (15th Oct-Sunday!).
I do not write good, interesting blog, neither am I able to use BOMBASTIC words, beautiful vocabulary and perfect grammar to express myself. I wonder if there are still ppl who would come to visit my blog from time to time to look up for new post. I used to visit some of my friends' blogs from time to time, at least once in a week, to see if they post new stuff. Of course, they are good bloggers.. The never-lower-than-A scorers in English.
The M.A.D. gen college group is going to have a BBQ this Tuesday night! It's Raya night, ppl! For those who received the invitation cards (...even though I don't think the ppl who received the cards read my blog..) How is it? Nice lerh?! Haha.. Of course lah... Brenda made one boh.. erkhem.. May all the glory goes to God. It was He who gave me the inspiration and the gifted creativity. After all, He created me mah! =P
Went out for drink with Hubert and gang on Friday night after the prayer meeting. When I got home, I was too tired to do my revision so I took out the Bible to read. Then I read a line, "Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example to the believers in your speech, life, love and faith" (I quoted it out spontaneously, so excuse me for some minor mistakes in order and missing of words) I put down the Bible, ashamed. I joked a lot about nasty stuff and teased my friends in disrespectful manner. I was ashamed for I had sinned. I sms Hubert to apologise for the nasty stuff I teased him. Even though he said he did not mind, but I felt guilty. I requested him to stop me whenever I started to sin in my speech again. I confessed to God and prayed for Him to help me to change in that particular area. I must set an example to others as a young Christian! I must change!
Went to jog with Joslyn on Saturday morning. The chilly air in the morning refreshed my mind. Jogging and doing exercise in the morning is really refreshing besides helping to boost our immune system. By the way, we weren't that lucky that morning. My car got unlocked by the I-dont-know-who and Joslyn's handphone and her money in her wallet were stolen. Guess how much she had in her wallet? RM90! I was shocked to hear that she had so much in her wallet and it was gone! When I was driving her home, Joslyn prayed for the stolen money to be used for good purpose and that it could be a blessing to the person who stole the money while I prayed for the lost of handphone and money be a blessing to Joslyn. She just told me that her bro is going to get her a new phone, so isn't the lost a blessing? =P For those who know that I just got myself a new phone, u might wonder, how about mine? Being stolen as well? Thank God, NO! Mine was in a black phone case so he couldn't see mine! I REALLY thank God for that... I really cant imagine how would I react if mine was lost as well. *Touch Wood!!!*
That's all for this week. I have to get back to my Chemistry. Have a blessed week! Till the next post.. Take care!
It has been so long since the last post I posted. My monitor isn't working so I have no choice but to spend the time I used to face the monitor facing the books. To be honest, it is uneasy for one like me who has the NEED to go online every waking moment.
Before I get things started, allow me to wish a brother of mine >>> Johnson Woan, HAPPY 18th BDAY!!! He's someone who has greatly encouraged me spiritually by his characteristics and BIG heart for God. (... I am looking at his pictures in friendster.. Hehe.. )
Sunday service was GREAT! The praise and worship session was awesome, Johnson testified the goodness of our GREAT God, touched by Bro Ricky's sharing on prejudice entitled "Reaching Out", we planned to have a BBQ during our care group meeting on Hari Raya (Thank God I am able to join!!! AHH! I have not attended cg meeting for so long due to the night classes that I can't skip)... Hahhhh there is joy in the presence of the Lord!
Had been studying Physics after I came back from church. HARD, UNCOMPREHENSIVE, COMPLICATED. I was greatly disappointed with my own ability. Sighed and sighed over the results that I got after practising with the past year papers. I was distressed for not being able to reach the aim. I did not know what had gone wrong.. I guessed it was because I did not understand the topics well enough. I prayed for God's wisdom and committed my exam unto His mighty hand. I was reminded of His word, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do no be afraid" NIV John 14:27 Yes, I find consolation in His word. Thank You Lord.
Joslyn is back here in Kuching and I cant wait to see her. I am still praying for my shepherd. Looking forward to going to my church MNC (Malaysia National Convention). Still working hard on A2 exam. Still the Brenda who has passionate heart for Christ. Till the next post, God bless and take care
Hey people!
This is the first post of this blog of Brenda's! Actually I have been blogging at friendster blog (http://brendalikeme.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/) but in order to let more people who do not have friendster to read about me, I have got myself a NEW blog! Yay! Ok, let's get started!!!
Spent this morning at church. Ps Simon is back! I was really touched by his sermon on Friday prayer meeting. He spoke on progression. Everyone of us needs to progress, otherwise we would most probably be in a position of static or even digressing! Therefore, armies of God, PROGRESS!
Praise The Lord! I have finally finished my Vision and Philosophy (V&P) class! Thanks Sister Annie! She is indeed a great teacher, who not merely teach what is written in the booklet, but much more than that! (That's why she took longer than a quarter to let us graduate! =p) She shared with us her personal experiences in her walk with God, her relationship history with Bro Derrick, the relationship of hers with her family and many many more.. I thank God for each V&P class because I find myself to have learned a lot from this Word for Life class. Each and every personal experience shared by Sis Annie was inspirational and I know she had tried her very best to let us learn as much as we can in this 3 months.. The rest is left for us to discover and experience ourselves in our own walk with God.
As a 10 months old baby Christian, Ps Simon motivatedd me with his sermon on Friday prayer meeting.
He said, "You may be just a baby christians, but do you know that babies can bite? Yes! You can bite, too! By God's grace you can defeat the devil! In Jesus' name! At the toughest time, fight till the very end and expect help from our Mighty God!"
How encouraging it is! We have nothing to fear for we have our God to back us up! I Thank God for guiding me to the right path, for leading me to the light, for bringing me back to Him again... "Was lost but now I found, was blind but now I see..."
My heart was really stirred by what Ps Simon had preached. When I went home on Friday night, I knew I must do something.. I must progress.. Then, I spoke to The Lord, I prayed for a sherperd.
I told God, "Father God, I really need a sherperd, a sherperd who can lead me and help me in growing spiritually. Lord, I long to grow in You. I will sms Chang Ting and ask for her help in assigning me a sherperd. Lord, Kia Ing them have already got their sherperds but why not me, Lord? Is it that it's not the right time yet? If You have Your chosen one for me, Lord, sent her to me via Chang Ting. Lord, if it's Your will to let me wait for Your perfect timing, let there be no reply." Immediately after I prayed, I messaged Chang Ting. Firstly, I shared with her how greatly encouraged I was by Ps Simon's sermon and she replied and said that she agreed and asked me which part did I find encouraging, so I told her what was in my heart. Then, there was no reply from her. I did not know when will I find my sherperd, or the other way round, when will my sherperd finds me, but I have faith that my Lord has His appointed one for me. Probably I just have to pray harder. Those who have faith that God will provide me with a sherperd, please pray for me as well. Thanks.