It's holiday. 

I feel that I've plumped up after the stretching exam period so I've decided to join the sisters to go jogging tml morning Y^_^ and I shall persevere on in getting rid of all the fats (hopefully..)

I've been watching a HK drama series - Heart of Greed. Interesting story line. Intriguing. You do not know what happen next if u do not continue watching. And it gets me hooked up :)

Toastmasters Club AGM is this coming thursday. Asked myself if I should go for any post. It does not need much evaluation to conclude in my heart that I think... I have not done much ever since I got the post of being a VPPR. Not regret, rather guilt haunts me. I doubt if I could contribute to the club. I am stressed up whenever the president ask me to get something done. I do not know many things and I'm unfamiliar with most.. I know I should humble myself to learn. Perhaps the president, or should I say the rest of the exco, have such a high expectation on me. Or maybe, maybe my over-boost self-confidence brings such consequence. I do not know. I feel like escaping - as in just give in and opt to stay as a normal member. Would that hurt my resume? Probably. 

I'm spending mummy's money each day I stay here in Singapore after the exam. Sometimes I feel it's such a silly decision to go back for just 1 month during this 3 months holiday. In fact, I struggled before making up my mind on this. Probably I'm just bored. When NUS students finish their exam and the programming team comes alive again, I shall be busy with planning, meetups and stuff. I believe God sees my intention in staying and that I truly want to experience how serving in tertiary is like, how serving out of inconvenience is like. And I truly believe God will honor this heart.

I need a job. A part time job. An ad hoc job. Project-based and I, honestly, do not mind the pay. It's better off than wasting time sitting in room watching drama. I'm too lazy to edit my resume and send in. My bad. Laziness gets a foothold on me again. 

I'm worried about my specialization next academic year. My intention in coming to NTU, Singapore is to take actuarial science. What if.. what if.. I do not get in? Anxiety overwhelms when I come to think of it. Jer29:11 - God has a plan for me! It comforts me. I need to use the sword of the spirit in tackling the negative emotions arise from doubting God, His promises and His ability!

Went to sing K with OB group with the absence of Jake. Love ya lots Elson, Kae Yun and Wan Lin. It was really a great time venting out all our eagerness in wanting to show off our singing talent. Laughter which can never be replayed. It is kept in my memory, my heart. I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving for u all :)

You know what guys, I really love my blog. hmm.. let me paraphrase - I really love blogging. Because I can just blurt out everything that suffocates me here and now. Alrighty, since I'm so free.. I'll blog more recently k! :) But hopefully I will not be so free for long. I wish to get a job! Reallyyyy...

Lastly, wish to continue to stay faithful in seeking God throughout this holiday. Do not want to miss God out totally from this whole holiday plan and semester break. Quiet time which should not be missed out each day, conversation with God which should comes from within every moment. Lord, I WANT YOU TO BE WITH ME IN THIS HOLIDAY! 

Oh ya, listened to the song 5 loaves and 2 fishes by Corinne May last night. It was really a ministering song. It talks about God made use of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes in working miracles, He can definitely use our desire, ambition, strength, weakness and fears in working out something great according to His plan. My heart was touched. I thanked God for who He is. 

Psalm 8:3-4

When I consider your heavens,

the work of you fingers, the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him, 

the son of man that you care for him?

God, who am I that I am worthy of all this? It is all by Your grace :)