Psalm61: 1-4
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
***
Something happened in the family. Pray that God will be with me and my family.
Love you, Lord.
***
Happy birthday, Koksiong! :)
I bumped into an old friend today. We chatted about our lives over the bus ride from Pioneer MRT station to school.
She is in similar situation as I do, heading to the divergence in life. She is trying to give her best shot in this final year in university to at least secure a second lower class. I reckoned that in the process of achieving, she gave up a lot of things, even God.
My heart went out for her when I heard about her life, how she is doing now. I really want to add a little more love to her life, even just a simple act of buying her coffee.
Before we departed, I just make myself available to be her study partner when she needs one. She thanked me, and I wonder when can we meet and chat again.
***
I made a silly mistake today. I knew it was not right, but I failed to do the right thing. I repented in sorrow and fear for the Lord.
This is what I read:
Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgression.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgression, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teacher transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifice of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then there will be righteous sacrifice,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
***
I realized that I am more influential, at whatever place God has placed me in - family, school, ministry. I really need to grow in my character and gain wisdom through His word as I build upon my credibility.
To God be all the glory. Amen.
Being the choleric me, it often takes God himself to remind me to slow down...
I am blessed by the leaders' retreat that I had over the last weekend. God spoke to me through the personal time I had with Him and through the leaders, and the spoken words are consistent.
It has not been an easy time for me. The more I see the "depressing" situation, as I define, the more I feel I need to do something about it. More often than not, at such times when my choleric mode is activated, I shut God out because I thought He just takes too long to respond. Then I realized, that I failed to exercise my faith.
Exo 33:12-19
Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me,'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you have pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."
The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."
Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."
And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion...
When I start to wonder what God says, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
A leader spoke to me about Heb 4:8-12 from the vision she had from God for me.
Heb 4:8-12
For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
As the leaders prayed for me, I saw a vision of a heart, cut into half, laid bare under the light of the bright sun.
Heb 4:13
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
I believe it was divine. As it is written in Psalms 51, render my heart and not my garment.
I am not saved by works, but by grace.
Psalm 51:16-17 (The message)
Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.
Lord, thanks for the reminder.